Rejoice?!

I did say in my last post that I have been thinking about Advent more than before. Maybe because there is less distraction than ever from focusing on things that matter, or maybe because there really is more motivation for me to think about what matters.

Today, December 13, 2020, is the third Sunday of Advent. The third Sunday is quite interesting, particularly because of the theme assigned to it, and the candle on the wreath that carries this theme.

A little backgrounder:

Let me transport you back to Christian Living/Values class. There are four candles on the advent wreath. Some add a fifth – the white candle to symbolize the actual coming of Jesus, the light of the World. Anyway, the four candles that anticipate the coming are given themes to help us prepare spiritually for Christmas. The three purple candles – by their color alone, indicate a certain sense of graveness by which we must reflect. The pink one stands out – because of its color, and because it is the one that tells us to rejoice.

picture from https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/352969689537491782/

I remember thinking in my grade school days that the pink candle was the fourth one to be lit – after all, if Advent is about waiting, then wouldn’t it be logical that the candle closest to Christmas is the one that is “happiest?”

Nope. It’s smack in the middle.

It reminds us to be joyful amidst the waiting. Joyful amidst self-reflection and honest soul-wrenching search. To remember to rejoice amidst even what could be considered sorrowful circumstances. It is even called the Gaudete Sunday, or the Sunday of Rejoicing.

Joy amidst sorrow. Really? Rejoice?!

I remember one of the opening lines from Shakespeare’s Julius Ceasar. Marullus asks the commoners why they are rejoicing over the return of Caesar: “Wherefore rejoice? What conquest brings he home?”

Maybe we find ourselves asking that question today. Why rejoice? What is there to be joyful about?

The pink in the midst of purple candles offer some thoughts into this:

1. First, is the reminder to always look for what is worth rejoicing over even amidst grave circumstances. I don’t think this means that we should be what others call “toxic positive” people – merely looking at what we want to look at and not the negative. No, I also don’t think it’s about being able to say “at least, there’s this or that…” in the sense of pampalubag-loob or consolation prize.

I think it’s about taking a look at everything, and still seeing what is good. I think, some sense of defiance, even. A sense of personal rebellion to look at what is grave and still say, I choose to look at things worth rejoicing over.

2. Second, it is to recover what Joy means.

I understand that Marie Kondo has really done a great job of bringing home the question “Does it spark joy?” It’s helpful. But “joy” as a word needs to be revisited. Is it merely a spark? Is it merely a flashing smile? Is it just a warm fuzzy feeling? Is it just a “Christmas thing?”

The answer, from the Bible, points us to something more lasting than a mere giddy rush. In fact, in Paul’s letter to the Romans, he asks God to fill them with joy. Imagine that: Something that God can fill you up with!

Joy is not something that is merely outward, or merely fleeting. It is something rooted deep inside, and can last winters of the soul.

Does that mean, therefore, that one can still have joy, but to be able to tackle difficult problems and still weep over injustices and pain? The answer, is yes. And it brings us to the third poitn for reflection:

3. What/Who is your source of joy?

In Paul’s letter to the Philippians, he gives us a great glimpse of what Rejoicing is really all about. We have to also know that Paul wrote this letter in jail. Here, in this letter, he gives a command to rejoice – while he was in jail. What makes him say such a thing given such a dire circumstance? The clue, I think, is not in the word “rejoice” but in the words that come after it.

He says, “Rejoice in the Lord.“

In. the. Lord.

It makes us stop to think if Jesus, whom we celebrate this season, is truly our source of joy. Is he our everything? The source of smiles, the one who gives us what we truly need, the one who guides us in the true paths, and the one we trust? Is he our joy-sparker? Is he the one who fills us? Do we rejoice in the Lord?

I apologize if I’m starting to sound like a Misalette. Just hope I was able to give a bit of pause and spark some thoughts on this third sunday of Advent. Maybe a bit of an answer to that Shakespearean question for our times, “Why Rejoice?” Maybe if we do rejoice in the Lord, our answer can be “Well, why not?”

“Narito na Ang Pasko, Nangungulila’ng Puso Ko”

I find myself giving more pause and thought to Advent this season. Then again, I’ve never had less distractions and more reasons to discover more about what Christmas truly means.

Part of this journey is going back to the Christmas songs I’ve loved and cherished. Some of them, I was actually surprised to have been carrying in my memory. I was part of a choir (a theater group that transforms into a choir when needed), way back in High School, and lately, in my rush to find lullabies for my daughter, the songs we sang almost 20 years ago flow from my mouth and heart just as easily as they did (thought sometimes, my memory makes it hard).

One such song is Bukas Palad’s Paglamig ng Hangin:

When we were singing this in High School, I was captivated first by the beauty of its melody and voicing that could stand as songs on their own. Then, as we kept singing it, and as I kept trying to internalize the song, the melancholic but sweet melody brought me back to our Christmases in San Fernando, Pampanga, pre-lahar.

To my lola’s house on Del Pilar Street. With the green gate, the seemingly unending bougainvillea wall, the love birds’ condominium, the old army-style jeep in the garage, the garden with lola’s orchids, the backyard filled with sand and gravel where we made volcanoes, my cousins, the ube, the kare-kare, the Christmas lights, and seeing my lola on Christmas morning making hot chocolate for all of us.

Sad but sweet at the same time – isn’t that what the best and our most favorite  songs do? They allow us to access memories not just in one dimension but in technicolor and surround sound – with all the emotions that come with it. Sweet because they seem so idyllic, life before anyone in our clan died. Life before lahar. Life. Period. Then sad, because I know that it’s far away – literally, in my case, because it’s Pampanga.

So I tried to find out more about this song written by Fr. Manoling Francisco, SJ.

Norman Agatep, longtime-collaborator of Fr. Francisco, was the one who did the voicing for the Bukas Palad version – probably the version we sang in High School – says that Fr. Francisco was a junior just out of the novitiate when he wrote this song. One could probably imagine the long stretches of some Christmas seasons he had to spend away from his family, and the impact this had on the young Jesuit. But he didn’t write it for himself. It was for OFWs who had to spend Christmas outside the Philippines. I guess this explains why the song, while beautiful in its melodic structure, seems to be bursting with emotion.

And this is what strikes me the most about this song. It is rife with longing so clear and poignant that it almost reaches out to hold your hand. Places where the melody belts out (“Hanap-hanap…Pinapangarap”) match perfectly with the lyrics. Quieter moments are perfectly-timed pauses for reflection. But the song doesn’t come with any resolution or comforting thought. There is no “happy ending.” Just longing. And to me this is the power of this song. It comforts me by telling me it’s okay to need comfort. It tells me that Christmas, while at its most powerful, is a time that brings people together, it also cuts across our souls when we miss those closest to us during this time.

Fast forward to several Christmases in my life. Fast forward to my first Christmas as a married man, which presented its own unique joys and challenges. Fast forward to my first Christmas with our daughter, the first apo on both sides, which brought with it more unique joys and a thousand more challenges. Fast forward to this Pandemic Christmas.

Filipinos seem to be longing to be with their loved ones they’re forgetting that the pandemic is still out on the prowl. Divisoria seems to be filled to the brim, and parking lots in malls are like the traffic situation and vice versa – like before. The longing is palpable and brings us to the point of another dangerous spike in cases. But even for those of us scared well enough to not be reckless, we are all longing just the same. We just take it out on Netflix, Lazada and Shopee. Or we stare blankly at windows. The longing is so

Yes, there are many things to still be grateful for. Yes, there are so many more of our fellow Filipinos to help. Yes, we do look forward to the day when we see and hug and kiss everyone we can (and rightly so), again. But for now, longing. And the song reminds me, it’s okay to long and pine and wish. Na walang masama sa paghahanap, sa pangangarap, sa pangungulila. It gives me permission to long and reach out with my heart.

The song has had several versions: the first recording was by Louie Heredia and was entitled Narito Na ang Pasko. Ateneo Chamber Singers recorded their version in 2015. As well as a ton of others on YouTube. But a 2020 version, I think, really makes it so much more relevant.

I guess, if ever there is comfort there in the song, it is in the second verse:

“Sa pag-awit muli, ng himig Pasko, nagliligyab sa paghahangad,
Makapiling kayo sa gabi ng Pasko,
 sa alaala, magkasama tayo.”

It reminds us of how loved we are, and how much love we feel, because there are people who are longing for us just as we are longing for them. So when I stare at the belen, I remember them, and I remember to lift them up to God. And maybe the song says, every time we sing the same carols, and every time we remember, maybe we’ll be together in some way.

Let’s raise this cup of hot tsokolate – or whisky – to those we can not celebrate with in the same way, for whatever reason. Cheers.